A Plant Would Be Better Than This
by violetbackbone
Summary: Post-The Host. Jodi's back and Sunny can no longer deal, so she takes matters into her own hands. Written with the prompt "The answer was clear. Shoot her."


**a/n: I originally wrote this on a whim in 2009. I was organizing a fanfic challenge at a LJ community and figured that I should probably participate in the actual challenge to set a good example. It was my first fic EVER (after I learnt what fanfic was, that is), so ...yeah. There you go!**

* * *

It was dawn and sunlight would soon be passing through the stained-glass windows. Sunny hadn't slept yet. Her host body had been a bit of a night owl, and needless to say, it transferred over after the insertion.

It was Kyle's idea to raid the church. The six of them—Melanie, Jared, Ian, Wanderer, Kyle and Sunny— had waited until after midnight. Churches were always left unlocked; at least that's how it was after the invasion. The Souls didn't keep them open to offer humans sanctuary, but so that they themselves could continue on with the human tradition. Sunny's host body's parents were religious nuts, and according to her memory there was actually a rule about going to church. It was an obligation for some humans to go to mass every week. Her host had hated this rule and it was the reason she had run away from home when she was fifteen.

Sunny was lying on the wooden bench, recalling the phone call that April—that was her host's name—had had with her parents three weeks after she had hitched a ride to San Francisco, where her aunt lived.

"_We're sorry; we realize it was not right of us to do this to you, April. You can come home now. You don't have to go to church."_

April had known something was wrong right away. Her parents, the strict-live-by-the-Bible-crazies would not give in to her rebellious behaviour so easily. But she went home anyway—and that was when she was caught. Four years later "April" and her friends decided to take a car down to Tijuana for Spring Break (the Souls encouraged the young to do as many normal, human things as possible). The girls got lost on the way, and ended up not too far from where Jeb had established his base. The switch was made just a few days later, and Violet Mirrors The Sea, the Soul in April, was sent off to the Dolphin planet while Sunny was restored from her cryotank.

April's memories were mostly bitter and resentful. She was quite the rebel and had been somewhat of a radical, and Sunny absolutely hated having these memories. But then thinking about April's memories was better than thinking upon the other memories that were still so relevant in her mind…

Sunny was studying the stained-glass when Kyle woke up. He'd been sleeping in the pew in front of her before he turned around and sleepily greeted her. "Oh hey, you're awake?"

"Yes," she said, slowly sitting up. She still wasn't used to the voice. It was significantly lower compared to the voice of her previous host.

Kyle stretched and yawned. "We should do this more often. You know, until they start realizing all the stuff is missing and they're sinfully low on wine. Even if these benches are hard and you've got freaky-ass statues staring at you, it felt really good to sleep above ground and not in the back of a car. I don't think I've done that since...the night I met you. We stayed in a church that night too, didn't we? Remember that?"

Sunny's mouth creased into a slight smile. "Yes, of course."

"That seems so long ago…." Kyle sighed. "What time is it?"

"Just past six," Sunny said regrettably, knowing that their time was soon up. "We should probably be heading out soon. There's a mass at eight."

Kyle exhaled, taking in the last few moments before he had to go back into "raid-mode", then he stood up. "Time to wake up the rest of the dream team."

The dream team was what they called themselves. Jared, Kyle, Ian, and Melanie—the young, able-bodied strong humans. Wanderer and Sunny, the native Souls. Everyone always looked forward to their raids because more often than naught, they would bring back the "good stuff." Aside from the silver in their eyes, Wanderer and Sunny were also petite, so it was easier for them to crawl through dog entrances and windows left-open, hence more opportunities and higher success rates.

Well, Sunny _had_ been petite. She wasn't anymore. It had been about a month since the second insertion.

Kyle picked the body, she was told. April had been traveling with three friends, and of the four girls, he picked the green eyed, dirty blonde. Sunny, but warm. And no longer petite.

"RISE AND SHINE MORTALS!" Kyle hollered.

Jared and Melanie snapped up at once, while Ian shrugged off what he knew was his brother being stupid. Wanderer was still fast asleep.

"Shut up!" Jared scolded. "We may be the only ones in the building, but that is no need to act like an idiot."

Kyle grinned, then went over to wake Ian up.

"You must be glad you don't have to sleep with him anymore," Melanie muttered, still half asleep.

Sunny didn't reply, but instead left to make sure the church was still empty. When Wanderer woke, the two of them kept watch, as the humans loaded the last of their stolen goods into the truck.

Jared yawned. "That bench was _not_ comfortable. I'm still so fucking exhausted. Kyle, Ian? Who wants to drive?"

Kyle snatched the keys from Jared before Ian could even register the thought. "Sunny, ride up front with me?"

Her heart palpitated. There was no way she could say no.

Kyle drove a bit above the speed limit, while the rest of them commenced slumber. The exhaustion of thirty-nine hours without sleep was starting to bite, but Sunny knew she had to stay awake, at least for a little bit longer. She had to make the most out of every moment she had with him because when they got back to the caves, it would be a different story.

* * *

A mere three days after Melanie's body had been saved, she had dubbed Saturday evenings "soccer night". Most of the boys and the able-bodied girls would split into two teams usually led by Jared and Kyle, while the fragile girls sat back and watched.

Sunny used to watch, but now she played, and it was one of the few things she actually enjoyed.

The dream team had returned to the caves just after lunch. A celebratory dinner for another successful raid was planned for the evening, and as it was Saturday, a game of soccer would follow.

After the game (Kyle's team won), most of the players and spectators went to bed, while a select few were still fooling around with the soccer ball. Sunny was among the few who stayed, as did the Kyle, Jared, Melanie …and Jodi.

Sunny was beyond sleepy, but she still didn't feel like going to bed. She wasn't a masochist, but she just was didn't want to be alone. She wasn't quite used to that yet. She wanted to be surrounded by her friends—or mostly friends, anyway.

"Come on, O'Shea, just a simple game." Jared urged, clearly bitter over his fourth loss in a row.

"Fine, fine. But don't cry when you lose—_again_. Sunny, you'll be on my team, right?"

Sunny looked over at Melanie and Jared, who were already discussing a defence strategy. "Um, I guess so."

"And baby, you'll keep score?" Kyle said to the tiny brunette on the sidelines.

Jodi hopped over to Kyle and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Of course. Good luck!" Kyle smiled, and pulled Jodi closer for more than just a simple peck.

A dizzy spell suddenly swept through Sunny. "Actually, I think I'll sit this one out…"

"What? Then who's going to play alongside Kyle?" Jared complained. But Sunny was already gone. Jared, it seemed, would not be getting his rematch.

* * *

Sunny ran back to the room she shared with Wanderer. When she had first been put into April's body, everyone had been forced to make adjustments as to not make the new girl feel unwelcome. It was thought by all that Wanderer knew what Sunny was going through and she would be able to help Sunny "adjust". So Sunny was stuck in Wanderer's room, while Ian was moved to Jamie's. Wanderer stated on several occasions that she didn't mind being away from Ian, but Sunny knew it was just pretence and that every night Wanderer yearned to sleep beside him.

Sunny knew because it was exactly how she felt about Kyle.

She sat on the edge of her bed and curled herself up into a ball. Her thoughts were bouncing back and forth between disdain and heartbreak:

_Jodi gave up. Jodi didn't deserve Kyle. She gave up on life and she only came back because I forced her too. She was barely there, but my memories, my feelings for Kyle brought Jodi back._

Sunny bitterly recalled Wanderer and Doc's reactions when she told them that she was hearing Jodi's thoughts in her head.

"This is absurd, but amazing!" Wanderer told Doc. "With Melanie, she would come and go, but Jodi was actually gone. And Sunny was able to bring her back!"

It was true. Jodi had realized that there was something worth living for, so she returned. She came back and pleaded with Sunny to let her have her body back.

_And stupid me, I fell for the cliché._ Sunny had believed that somehow Kyle would still love her—love her even more maybe, if she brought back Jodi. A Soul is true and good by nature. She was just trying to be good, to do the right thing.

But no good deed goes unpunished. It didn't make Kyle love her more. Bringing Jodi back only distanced Kyle from her. Despite the few fleeting moments they shared, he was no longer bound to her, and in this body, she didn't need Kyle to protect her anymore. Kyle belonged to someone else and someone else belonged to him.

"I can't live like this anymore," Sunny cried quietly. _This is not living_. Something needed to be done to quell this pain. But what?

**The answer was clear. Shoot her.**

* * *

By the end of that week, it was decided that the dream team would be embarking on another raid. The humans had finished all of the wine and craved more. "You've gone and turned everyone into alcoholics," Jeb had joked.

Sunny lamented over how this upcoming raid seemed to coincide with perfect timing, but she credited to the fact that maybe this was simply a sign.

An hour before the raid she was in her room, lying on her bed, staring down at the stationary she had borrowed from Lily.

"What are you writing?" Wanderer asked, while lacing up her running shoes.

"I'm not quite sure," Sunny answered earnestly as she began scribbling. She was wasting the ink and the paper, but she didn't care.

Wanderer cleared her throat. "Sunny, you've been really quiet these past few days. Quieter than usual…"

The pen fell from Sunny's hand as she shoved aside the stationary. "I'm still having a tough time adjusting," she admitted, half-heartedly.

"Yes, it can take a while to get used to your new body especially when your old one is right there in front of you."

"That wasn't _quite_ what I meant…"

"What did you mean?"

Sunny sighed. "Wanda, do you still have feelings for Jared?"

"Jared and I are good friends. I will always love him. But I love Ian. And when I think of him, Jared is the farthest things from my mind."

"You're lucky. To have your feelings returned, I mean."

Wanderer studied Sunny's face, then took a seat beside her on the bed. "Sunny, Kyle cares about you. Why else do you think he convinced Doc to let you stay? What you did—telling us that Jodi was back— was the right thing to do, and he will always be grateful. He does love you, Sunny. Maybe not in the way you want him to, but he does love you."

"Hmm," Sunny said after a moment. Something strange had stirred in her, as she listened to Wanderer's words. "Yes, I know he does," she went on. Her eyes began to well up. "Wanda, do you think I will ever…Do you think that one day…" Sunny shook her head. "Forget it. Um, good luck on the raid."

"Are you not coming?"

"No, I'm not. I think I'm going to sit this one out. Can you tell them for me?"

"Sure, no problem."

"Thanks…I think I'm going to take a little walk. I'll see you later, Wanda." Sunny turned to leave.

"Hey Sunny," Wanderer called, "Are you're gonna be fine here on your own?"

Sunny nodded with a smile. "I'm going to be just fine."

* * *

A thin pink sheet of paper that had been folded three times rested in Sunny's back pocket. Tucked in her front pocket was another item she'd obtained from Jared's room. It was concealed by the length of a hand-me-down t-shirt from Kyle.

This had to be done swiftly, Sunny told herself. If she hesitated, her nerves would start to take over and she would back out. If she backed out, the pain would never go away…

"Sunny? Oh God, you scared me! I didn't even hear you come in! A-Are you okay?"

"I just wanted to apologize, Jodi."

Jodi's eyes widened, as she asked innocently, "Apologize? For what?"

"For what I'm going to do. We don't really talk anymore, but for a short time, we shared a body, so this might—"

"Sunny! There you are! I've been looking for you."

Sunny stumbled back against the wall. "Wanda? What are you doing here?"

"Would you believe that we got a flat tire just half an hour into the drive? We had to come back or else we would have risked being stuck." She stopped. "Sunny, your eyes are red. Have you been crying?"

"Wanda, you weren't supposed to be here. You're supposed to be on the raid."

Sunny raised her hand up to her hip. Her intention was to make sure the item in her pocket was still concealed, but instead she brought attention to it.

"Sunny, w-where did you get that?"

Jodi followed Wanderer's eyes and she gasped.

"You shouldn't have that," Wanderer said. "Someone could get hurt."

"Hurt? That's funny; I think that's already happened."

There was a brief moment of silence, then Jodi whimpered, "This is about Kyle, isn't it?"

Sunny inhaled slowly, then spoke in a whisper, "Wanda gave up Melanie's body, but she had Ian. I gave up your body, but what am I left with?"

"Sunny," Wanderer said, "this won't bring Kyle back to you. If you kill her, this won't make him love you like you want him to."

"I know. I'm not stupid, I know that." The tears were coming down hard, but Sunny didn't bother to wipe them away. "Wanda, do me a favour, please? I know you want to save us all, but I don't want another host."

"What?"

"Don't put me into a new body," Sunny said again.

"Sunny, why would we…" Wanderer's eyes widened and it was clear she knew what Sunny meant. "Wait—no, no! Don't do this! Just take a moment and think this over! "

"Sunny?" It was Kyle. As he burst into the room, immediately Jodi ran for him, sobbing.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he demanded. "I could hear screaming as I was coming down the hall!"

"I'm so sorry, Kyle. It shouldn't have happened this way, but don't worry. Everything will be just fine in a minute."

"What?"

Sunny reached into her back pocket and retrieved the pink paper. She looked Kyle in the eye. "This is for you. It explains everything."

This last memory—Kyle's face, was all she needed. Sunny shut her eyes, held the gun to her temple, and pulled the trigger.

She couldn't live like this and now she wouldn't have to anymore.

FIN.


End file.
